More Journey!!!

Wk 9: My First Critique In a Really, Really, Really, Really, Really, etc. Long Time.

I am so happy! I haven’t done any critiques for a long, long time, and I am ready to give my all. Beware, certain people, ’cause you are about to be criticized. (For everyone else, if I offend you, I am sorry-sorry you can’t take some humor).

So, as normal, I will go over a couple of articles, give you the link, and critique it. All you have to do is read the article, read my response, and then you can do whatever the heck you want with it, as long as I am not criticized for criticizing-that would be too much irony for me right now.

Journey Drummer donates after South Albany fire. 


This article was very well written. The purpose was to communicate to the world the generosity of Journey drummed Deen Castronovo, who provided money to the South Albany High School music program after the entire music room was burned down when an idiotic arsonist decided for whatever reason to ignite a dumpster.

The main issue for further discussion is how the donation of $10,000 dollars will be used, and how the donation will affect the lives of the students. I personally am touched by this story, being a big Journey fan. In fact, I think Deen can have a place on next week’s Hall of Fame. And, I think I am going to leave a song link right here. Anyone who feels the way I do about this story can sing along.

Also, I am proud of the Statesman Journal. There were no errors as far as I could see, and it was amazing to read that.

Young songwriters gather to learn.

At least the title is very simple. I don’t think I could explain it any better. However, if you want more, then have more.

This article, if you haven’t read it, focuses on an event that had taken place in Sisters, Oregon, where young songwriters from around the West come to learn and to sing. I believe that the purpose is to bring the efforts of these young songwriters to light for all of us. They work hard, and maybe one day one of them might be the next Deen Castronovo. (Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but still). And yet, I feel that this article wasn’t written very well. There were no mistakes that I could catch, but there didn’t seem to be a whole lot of genuine enthusiasm, one of the things I always look for in an article. I didn’t connect with the article, and that was disappointing.

 ‘Miracle dog’ survives being hit by car, clubbed, abandoned.

This dog is a hero. I don’t like covering survival stories, but this one really hit me. This dog survived through a lot of difficult storms, and it would seem almost immoral for you not to read this article.

The article itself focused on the dog’s experience and recovery. It portrayed this animal as the hero she is, and uses lots of emotion-sparking language and descriptions. I don’t think I need to describe my personal reaction, because everything I felt is up here at the top.

There weren’t any mistakes, and I wouldn’t care if there was any. Read the article at, or just click on the link I already pointed out to you, and I promise that you will not be disappointed.


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